February 13, 2014

Birth Version of Footprints In The Sand

        Birth Journey with Jesus

  I had a first time momma come into the birthcenter 
  in active labor. She was the most real, sweet girl and
  I loved her from the start!   Her husband was also  
  very special to me because he was a friend of my   d    daughters and I had prayed for him during a difficult time in his life (I'll tell you that story in a different blog!)

So here we were on the big day and momma was working hard.  She got into the birth pool and I saw on her face that things were getting serious.  She was moaning the whole time.  Before, during and after a contraction she would make the Ahhhhhhh sound.  It never changed pitch and it was constant the whole time.  Her eyes were closed and the Ahhhhhhh continued.(you have to close your eyes and make this sound until your breath runs out and that's what she sounded like.)  It looked as though she were somewhere else because she didn't respond to any of the hushed noises in the room.  We kept looking at each other because we could see the signs that her labor was progressing.  Her cheeks were getting rosier and rosier and the focused unwavering intent on her face to not be moved was astounding.  A couple of times I tried to say encouraging things to her but felt like she was listening to someone else and stopped.  Her Ahhhhh's were getting lower and she opened her eyes and said "I want you to check me."  So she got out of the tub and I checked her and she was complete!  I said "Emily, your done with this part.  All you have left to do is push out your baby!"  She shut her eyes and valiantly pushed for 30 minutes and daddy caught their beautiful 8lb 12oz baby girl in a quiet peaceful room.  I heard her quietly say "Thank you Jesus" as tears streamed down her face! 

Later after she had taken her herbal bath with her baby girl she began to tell us about her birth.  She said when she began active labor she got scared and asked Jesus to help her.  She told Him she was afraid and she didn't know what to do.  Then with light in her eyes she said that Jesus showed up and they were standing on the beach.  He said to her "Take my hand and walk with  me."  She did as he said and the whole time she was laboring (Ahhhhh....) they were walking side by side down the beach.  She said she just kept looking up into his eyes.  Then He said to her "You see that bridge up in the distance?"  She nodded her head to her Lord.  He said "When we get to that bridge you will be done."  She continued walking (Ahhhhh....) It was shortly after that time that she looked up and they were standing at the bridge.  Jesus was smiling at her.  She asked me to check her and that's when she was complete.  As she tells her story we all have tears running down our faces!  She said "Ann, I walked with Jesus!"  She seemed as excited about that as she was that she was holding the fruit of her journey and labor.

This young woman was not crazy or weird.  She was just in love with Her new Lord and had depended on Him for everything since she met Him.  He was there at her birth and we were privileged to be able to watch her labor and birth her baby from a power and grace that was not her own. 

Paramedic Panic!

Paramedic Panic!

A hundred years ago, which is what I say if I don't remember when it was,  I was with Donna at a home birth.  The Momma was laboring nicely and we expected this to be a quick easy labor since she had had numerous children before.  On one of our heartbeat checks we found the baby's heartbeat to be about 40 beats a minute which is dangerously low.  Donna checked her to see if birth could be imenent and she was 4cm dilated.  We knew we had to get this Momma to the hospital now or we could lose this baby!  Donna jumped into the car with the client and I followed behind in Donna's car.  Those of you who know me know that Donna would never let me drive her car, which only knows a life of a pokey slow pace, for fear of the car getting a taste of the fast lane!.  The matter at hand was more important so the "Oh no your not!" moment got away from her.  Hee Hee!  I was driving her car about 90 miles an hour!  We were terrified at the moment for this baby and what was happening but I can be nonchalant in the telling of my story because I know the ending! 

The whole way to the hospital the woman kept saying "I'm not going to have my baby at a hospital!"  "I'm not!"  She was laboring hard but being very adamant about this statement.  She was 4cm so chances were she was definitely going to have her baby in the hospital and probably by cesearean!  We pulled into the hospital parking lot and I jumped from Donna's car over to the car they were in.  When I opened the back door the woman was lying in the back seat on her left side with her right leg thrown wide open over the front seat.  Donna had moved out of the car and placed herself at the opening of the other back door because this woman was having her baby in the hospital parking lot!  As the mom was pushing a paramedic came running up to the car and asked "Whats going on?"  Donna said "We are having a baby!"  The paramedic looked panic stricken and asked "Who are you?"  Donna replied "I'm the Midwife!"  The paramedic threw his hands up in the air and yelled "Thank you God!!"  I laughed out loud!  The woman pushed one more time and this baby came flying out!  The baby was kicking and screaming to our wonder and relief!  Yay!  Are you laughing or crying right now?  Well hold on the story doesn't end here! 

So Momma has done what she said and had her baby NOT in the hospital!  While we were waiting on the placenta a nurse came running up to the car.  She said "Is baby out?"  Donna replied "Yes, we are waiting on a placenta."  The nurse then said "The placenta won't come out with her in that position!  Get her on her back!"  To which Donna replied "Really?  Well watch this!"  This made me laugh!  Then Donna had her push and the placenta came out perfectly.  The paramedic and the nurse were pretty useless to us that day but I think they may have learned a thing or two! 

We had a healthy mom and a healthy baby in the back seat of a car.  Sometimes birth throws surprises at us and we get to see Him intervene on behalf of a mama and baby and show us that its His Deal....His Purpose... and yet again ...His Faithfulness! 

Donna never let me drive her car again.  :)  She has a new car these days.  I'm betting I don't get to drive it either!


February 12, 2009

A Hole Different Story........

OK, for me to tell this birth story is like me being totally naked with you guys! Its probably the biggest most stupid blunder that I've ever made at a birth.

As a seasoned (a nice way of saying old) midwife I can tell you that you are never too old or good to be humbled by your mistakes. I don't even think that I can say that I had taken NyQuil that night to help bail me out of this blunder.

I had a client who was having her first baby. While in labor she had gotten in the tub. Her contractions and breathing were sounding like her body was pushing without her. It had not been very long since labor had even started so we were all surprised by her grunts and noises. She was in a squat in the water.

I figured I'd better put a glove on and see where this baby's head was just in case she was ready to birth her baby. No woman needs this check....she can birth her baby without my hands being all up in her cool aide, but I was curious and didn't want her to be pushing on any cervix that would swell and get in the way of her pushing her baby out later.

I put a glove on and gently put my finger inside her vagina to see what I could find. She was pushing. I couldn't get my finger inside because I could feel the head at the opening. So I do a little perineal massage to help the area stretch.

Something didn't feel right and in that moment I moved my hand further forward, remember she's in a squat, and found the head to be out of the vagina! I realized I wasn't in her vagina, I was in her rectum!!! Her rectum was inside out and I was feeling the rectal wall not a head! Good Lord, I was doing perineal massage on this woman's poor rectum!

The baby came quickly and easily in the water and she pulled her baby up onto her chest. Everyone was rejoicing!

The whole evening more than a few times after the birth she kept saying "My rectum really hurts!" My students were about to bust a gut because I had told them what I had done. I felt so bad for her. For nights after that I had dreams about pulling on that poor girls booty hole!

To this day, my students teasingly remind me to make sure I'm in the right place! There's a part of me that really hates water birth! You can't freaking see what your doing and it would be hard for anyone to find the vagina if the whoha you were checking was under water and in a squat to boot!

I have since decided its just better to let baby's come on their own in the water and just keep my blind hands off! One woman sacrificed a rectum so that the rest of you can be saved.

Enough of my nakedness! I am humbled and thank God that he isn't done with me yet!

Catch Donna.....the birth supply, that is!

Donna and I have done many many births together. Many different places....big ones, small ones, inside, outside. The smallest place I remember birthing a baby was at the Renaissance Fair http://www.texrenfest.com/themedweekends.html in Fort Worth, There was a couple who worked there, living in a motor home in the park. You know the kind you pull behind your car?

I don't remember anything about the laboring mom because I really didn't ever get to see her face! The husband though I won't forget! He had long hair and a long beard that was braided into three braids. Not our typical clientele. Not our typical place of birth.

We didn't really have time to think much of it because when we got there the laboring mom was in the throws of pushing her baby out. The bed was in the back of the motor home like stuck in the wall. Where you climb into the bed was only as wide as Donna's back side! Sorry, Donna.

So I'm standing behind Donna and I can't get on either side of her to assist. I hear Donna tell the woman that her baby's head is out. I grab the bulb syringe and throw it over Donna's head and hope I didn't hit the mommy! Donna was able to grab bulb syringe and suction out baby. The baby is born. I grab a towel and once again I throw the towel over Donna's head so that she can cover up this sweet baby. I don't remember Donna ducking so I must have been a pretty good shot!

Later Donna and I laughed about how it must have looked! These little church ladies in this very Hippy Renaissance setting! We adapt don't we Donna?! Birth is so fun!

November 28, 2008

I Should Not Have Home Schooled Her.........

My daughter loves to cook. Unfortunately for her I have never cooked a Thanksgiving turkey. My mom always cooks the turkey. Keri decided that she would cook a Thanksgiving turkey for all of her friends and have a traditional Thanksgiving meal. So her and her best friend started on their turkey cooking agenda.

They rubbed it, seasoned it and begged it to cook perfectly. They had many to impress. She put the turkey into the oven and after many off and on again phone calls to her Mimi begins the preparation for the dressing. We don't stuff our turkeys at our house, we make the dressing seperate with the turkey broth and cornbread. It's the best I've ever had. My Mom's dressing.

Ok, Turkey comes out of the oven and Keri decides it's time to cut the Turkey up and display it on a platter. She's so pleased with how it looks.

But wait, What's this??? There's something inside the Turkey! Someone has played a really bad trick on her! She pulls out this "Thing" and realizes with horror that it is a Turkey Penis!! Someone put the Turkey's penis inside his body!" After her initial shock that someone would do that and It Was That...she decided to throw it away and serve the Turkey without saying a word!

Later she was telling me the story and I nearly died from laughter! Keri, I told her, "It wasn't a penis!" "It was the neck of the Turkey!" "Your suppose to take all that out before you cook it! "You served it even though you thought you cooked a penis in it??" Well...... I would have done the same thing.

I should not have home schooled her. We did manners but not a turkey anatomy class! It's all my fault!

November 24, 2008

Husband Hall of Fame: Birthing Song

I was assisting Donna Miller at a home birth of a young couple many years ago and this baby mama's husband will forever be in the "Husband Hall of Fame".

Most women make all sorts of birthing noise when they are in their groove of birthing their baby. This woman in particular was breathing out moans with every contraction. As she approached transition her birth moans and breathing were getting louder and louder.

Her husband could see that she was some worried about how much noise she was making during the contractions. She was even apologizing in between contractions.

On the next contraction as she began her moans her husband started saying to her...."Good, Honey, sing your birthing song". "Its a beautiful song". "Sing louder your birthing song".

As he spoke freedom to her song with every contraction, she became totally comfortable with her song and it wasn't long before she pushed out her beautiful baby.

Never again will I call the noises that a woman makes in labor....noise.