October 29, 2008

No Uterus....No opinion!

I'm cramping. I feel nauseous and my back aches. I don't have a virus or flu. I got my period.

My very natural friends told me to take an herbal product called Cramplex. I took two and after 30 minutes I didn't feel better. My husband took me to dinner. I came home and the cramping jumped to second gear.

Forget the herbs, go for the drugs. I love Aleve. (Naproxin). I'm talking in short sentences because I'm stopping to cramp. OK, 5 Aleve (a little over the recommended prescription strength dose). I should be feeling no pain and sleepy in about 20 minutes. I'm a granola girl with almost everything else but not cramps. I deal with uterus's every day. I do not want to deal with my own. I'd prefer to think I don't have one.

My husband was trying to get me to take some other herbal product and I told him "No uterus, No opinion!" He walked away and said he would rather deal with taxes than my uterus. Ohhh, big one. Why do some women have their periods and feel nothing? Its not fair. I don't wish cramps on them, I just wish for their quiet, obedient uterus to be mine. I had a quiet obedient child so some would say its a fair trade. I'm not so sure at the moment.

OK, I feel better having vented to someone. Thanks. I'm going to go lie down until my drugs take me to that dreamland place where uterus's only produce perfect children and only speak when being spoken to.


Keri said...

You thought I was quiet and obedient? Wow. It worked.

Michelle said...

You,my friend, are cracking me up! Not funny my eye! What I find totally hilarious is that you feel at complete ease to announce to the whole world that you've started your period and are having cramps! You are my hero! lol!

Obedient uterus or obedient children? I have neither so apparently I'm reaping for something. It's Ken, I'm sure of it.